On being an empty void pit

I sometimes go through this phase where i feel nothing. No joy. No sorrow. No remorse. No feeling at all. I think i become a zombie of sorts. No, that is not accurate. Zombies at least feel dead and hungry for brains. I think this is more of a cyborg type feeling. But even they must feel like they have a purpose to fulfill, i bet.
But then there's me. A million things to do and not a single ounce of motivation is being felt in my body. This is of course an uncomfortable state of mind for me. I want to feel. So what do i do? I listen to emotional music. It works almost half of the times. But this time I'm on the side where it is as ineffective as pouring fresh water into the ocean. (what a comparison. wow.)
My friend suggested i listen to John Lennon. I did. I think it's not the best idea to open the floodgates of emotions, when the infant, that is, the non-emotion is still making it's way out of the damn dam. (like climbing out of the dam which was previously dry because the floodgates were holding the water away. What parent would let an infant into the dry dam at any point of time anyway? Well, it's just another bad comparison...so...)
After listening to four songs, namely, Working Class Hero, Imagine, God and How?, I had to, shall i say, shift to less triggering songs.
Unsuccessfully shifted to La Dispute. Surprisingly, could not feel the feels i usually feel.

The only album(apparently) that helps me cope (currently) is Sempiternal by Bring Me The Horizon. It has the right amount of energy to let my brain focus on the instruments, the splendid unclean vocals and the prestigious (wowza for choice of adjective) lyrics that hit me in the right way. It makes me want to start a one-woman mosh-pit and mosh till i cant feel my body, chipped my wall off and/or make a blogpost about it. I feel much better.
Sigh.(of relief)


"THIS IS SEMPITERNAL. WILL WE EVER SEE THE END?
THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL.
OVER AND OVER, AGAIN AND AGAIN"

Let The Ocean Take Me- The Amity Affliction

I found out that The Amity Affliction are streaming their new album 'Let The Ocean Take Me'. My heart had exploded when i had listened to their singles 'Pittsburgh' and ' Don't Lean on Me'. So i had really high expectations from the rest of the album. Boy did they exceed my expectations! Personally the lyrics are doing things to my emotions that i cannot explain. It is literally like they're singing about my life and the things i've been going through for the past few months. Maybe it's that, or maybe the record is actually as brilliant as i think it is. It starts off with Pittsburgh, which along with Dont Lean on Me were my favourite songs i thought...until i listened to the rest of the album. Every song i heard, every word made sense TO ME. So i frantically started texting the lyrics to my friends because believe it or not the lyrics explained everything i felt, feel that i am unable to explain myself. I must say this, Pittsburgh to Give It All, i love them all. This record will be close to my heart, because five dudes from down under, could through their experiences and thoughts come up with a record that makes sense to the half-lived life of an indian girl having episodes of existential crisis. If that isn't the sign of a good artist i don't know what is.  The lyrics along with the melody and Ahren's soothing clean vocals, with the twisty music that is meant to give pangs of feelings at the right time, is just in one word BRILLIANT! I just cannot believe this record. If someone is reading this i beseech you to listen to the record. Tell me if you think it is as good as i think it is. I'll leave a link to it below.
Lastly, I would like to thank the band for making music and just existing i guess. Thank you!

Album Stream :  http://www.altpress.com/features/entry/the_amity_affliction_let_the_ocean_take_me_album_premiere
Go exercise your emotions! 

"If music be the food of love, play on"

Now that you know about my love for books. I must tell you about my other true love. (yes i have more than one true love. I have that much love to give) It is as the blog title suggest-s MUSIC. (Food also, but we'll get to that later.) I love music so much, i must tell you it refreshes my mind, soul and body. I constantly need background music. From the time i wake up in the morning, upto the time i fall asleep. I need music. I just cannot function otherwise. When i'm out and about i always have a song playing in my head. The playlist in my head is pretty relevant. It's almost like my life is a movie, isn't it? With the right song playing at the right time, capturing the emotions being felt by me just perfectly.
 I personally like punk-rock, metalcore and indie rock. (I'll make a band bucket list and put it up soon!) But i also listen to Justin Timberlake (i mean, who doesn't) and some other mainstream artists who are bearable. But i must point out, music for me has nothing to do with who's making them. If it's a good song, i will love it. I love songs by the degree of how much i can relate to it. I shit you not, there are songs that make me weep like a baby because of how much it hits me "in the feels". (x) That's the only accurate way of putting it, i must say.
Then there are other songs i simply like to groove to. Even there i get to relate to the song, don't i? The direct relation between my groove and that of the song. HAh! I actually need to actualize my groove ratio hm...!

I think its the right time to say that music has indeed saved my life. It's not a cheesy statement. It's an  emotionally accurate and sufficient statement. There is a song for every mood. But the part where the right song plays for me, when i feel a certain emotion is what gets me. It's like music does not want me to feel low. It helps me get rid of my pent up frustrations, anger and annoyances. I mosh in my room and i won't lie. There will be excessive posts about music so fret not!

P.S.- Blog title taken from the Of Mice & Men song- This One's For You, inspired by Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.

Looking for Alaska

Spoiler alert! If you haven't read the book, please do, after which you may return to read on.
At first the title suggests the possibility of Alaska running away or something of that sort. But well, that would mean it would be within our comfort zones, beloved Alaska Young is just missing, surely Pudge will find her and they'll fall in love and live happily ever after. But no! John Green knows how it's done. How to set off the waterworks. Though there is a clear indication of what happens to Alaska in the "Before" i just did not feel like believing it till the Eagle himself said it. The easy narrative style,simple and witty dialogues that make so much sense, yet retaining it's simplicity is a delight to read. The Alaska Young Memorial Prank really hit me in the feels. Alaska's wild nature really touched the lives of everyone at her school and the fact that her friends suffering silently with guilt, try and investigate her "accicide"/"suident" blaming themselves for her death and pull of the best annual prank to etch Alaska in everybody's mind and hearts just left me sobbing and sniffing and hurting.
I've never been the one to cope with death easily. Even in fiction novels. Looking For Alaska, is the second John Green book I'v read the other being The Fault In Our Stars. Both of these books left me hurting and crying for the undeath of his characters. I'm definitely reading all of his books in the near future and i shall definitely blog my feels after.
bookworm sign off