"To vlog or not to vlog, that is the question"

I've developed a recent urge to make and edit videos. It could just be a fad considering i've been binge watching youtubers for a while. Not so long ago i was asked to edit a video for the senior year graduation. I was expected to make a rough-amatuer video in less than three hours. Considering i did not even know what button did what, i took up the challenge nonetheless. I do not know how, but i got the basic functionality of the video editor in a matter of minutes and i was off excitedly making a, what turned out to be a pretty fun(ny) video. That was probably when i realized i really liked editing videos.

[Watch the video i made if you like]

Then of course my obsession with youtube studstars. I've always found it extremely interesting that a bunch of normal people talking about their somewhat normal life are treated like celebrities. Of course it's not just rant rant rant, they make ordinary things sound extraordinary with humour and well-timed wit. I consider myself a mediocrely funny person. By mediocre i mean hella lot. (strangle me now) Honestly who doesn't right? RIGHT?! Right. I do have some ideas for videos that i think are good. But is that enough? I thought, Hey! There are no vloggers/ youtubers from india. Maybe its an unventured area that should be utilised. BUT, maybe no one has ventured here because of the lack of audience? What if i can actually make this a fruitful venture? What if i can't? Questions like these eating my brain away, whilst the opportunity i may or may not have slips from my fingers.   I think i may just give it a go. I don't have anything to lose, but i may have much to gain. Aren't i right?

My last academic year of degree college just started. I have a tendency to forget really unforgettable and happy memories. Yes, i somehow manage to do that. No, I am not proud. It makes me mad! So i can combine the need to remember with my urge to vlog and make a sort of video-memoir of my last year of college. Is this or is this not a good idea? Hopefully i can step out of my comfort zone soon and start doing things instead of blog-complain about them! Send me positivity people! THANK YOU!

[moi]

{soz having a bad hair day}

This Is The Start Of My Existential Crisis

The human body. That's how this thought process started. The human body is so complex. And what's scarier is that there are people who know how this complexity works. There are so many organs inside me. How is it held together? I dont know. Protected by bones, flesh and skin. Im more than just skin deep. I am the same as anyone on the other side of the world and yet we have two completely different lives.
NOW, my brain is analysing. Remembering. Reasoning. Thinking somehow. My mind is actually my brain.(?) It tells me things. I respond to it. it's like like there are two entities inside me. My thoughts and then there's my actions. Why?? How??
What is the meaning of all this? God must really exist then. But who made God? How can something come out of nothing? It scares me.
Have you ever thought about the sun? The sun is a big ball of fire just floating in space. JUST FLOATING. Nothing on top, nothing below it. Just suspended by God knows(well) what!?  Around this there are nine rocks revolving and rotating. Just following an invisible path and staying on it. Not faltering even for a second. WELL HELLO! We are all riding a big-ass rock that is somehow going around this big ball of flames for apparently millions of years. If it changed even a little, even for a millisecond, we would probably die.
But here we all are, worried about little things like how we never have enough money or how "their car is bigger than ours". We are a part of something SO SO big! So much bigger than us. We are basically nothing. We are alive today, we die tomorrow. But the earth, sun and the other planets go on. Even dead suns become stars to us. We are that unimportant.
What if we are actually a speck of dust? I mean, the infinite universe we belong to is a speck in a bigger outer universe, we don't even now. In relativity to this are our worries significant? Is it worth living another normal life? Wouldn't it be more fulfilling if this earth was explored thoroughly? If that was even possible. Because this planet is huge to us, but a tiny pebble in the universe. We can't travel the universe yet but shouldn't we at least try to get to know the pebble we live on?
I think we should all just leave our lives behind and dance in the fields, sing to the stars and jump into the water from a hill!
But the fact that i have realised the truth and yet live just like an ignorant makes my chest hurt and after this i am going to return to my taxation books to learn about how the government has helped avoiding re taxation. Irrelevant but unfortunately unavoidable till i can develop the guts to be unafraid and run head-first into the life that awaits me on the other side.