I wanted to leave a mark on the world. So i took a walk on the beach. I let the soft sand sink under my feet as i pondered. I stopped and turned around. I had left a trail. I had left a mark indeed. As i smiled, the warm water rushed against my feet and washed away my trail. Disappointed i walked on to the mountainside. I stood in the valley and shouted in frustration. My voice echoed and i was reprimanded by my own voice. I lifted my head to see the rocky high structures. High into the clouds and rising. If i ever was to leave a mark, i decided, i would rise above and stand up tall. I will live on for hundreds, if not, thousands of years. When other youngbloods reach the valley of echoing frustration and look up, just like i did, they will find me. Towering over them with the message of truth. The truth that anything is possible. 

Metaphorical Rantings

With 'Welcome To My Life' playing in the background, I lie facedown on my bed with tears of frustration while i imagine an imaginary warmth being radiated from a human i may never materialize into my life. The song makes too much sense. Even after a decade, i still feel the same emotions in the song.
The weight of my loneliness squishes my whole existence when i  bawl my suppressed emotions, emotions i have neatly folded and flattened and placed under the protection of pretense of everything being okay. To be honest there is nothing wrong. But i often feel like i'm being pushed into the ocean when in reality i have just learnt to beat my legs in the water after testing it's temperature. I didn't even realize that i was falling into the water and was made to believe that it was a choice that i made. A casual swim, turned out to be a man vs wild, rather silly girl vs wild, expedition minus the fame and scripting. This is real.  The comfort of being able to feel the bottom has been deprived. I now beat my legs to stay afloat, not to feel the swish of the cool ocean water.  I do not even get a reward for being a sacrificial bait. No last supper, nothing.
What do i do  now? Swim to land? Hope for a shark to bite into me? Drown? If i swim to land, maybe i can take the path the other swimmers refused to take. If i drown, ill just be another floating body like the rest. And then probably a shark may eat me. Now would be a good time to reward me. How about a map of the land i will discover. I dont ask for a float, because i dont want to get used to the comfort of staying in the waves of false satisfaction.
I honestly like the metaphor because no one will have a clue what im talking about except me. Now, honestly i'm afraid fatigue will get the best of me. Pretense will paint a faux rosy picture and i will be asked to admire the beautiful sunset from the middle of the ocean, because hey, the glass is always half full!