I sometimes go through this phase where i feel nothing. No joy. No sorrow. No remorse. No feeling at all. I think i become a zombie of sorts. No, that is not accurate. Zombies at least feel dead and hungry for brains. I think this is more of a cyborg type feeling. But even they must feel like they have a purpose to fulfill, i bet.
But then there's me. A million things to do and not a single ounce of motivation is being felt in my body. This is of course an uncomfortable state of mind for me. I want to feel. So what do i do? I listen to emotional music. It works almost half of the times. But this time I'm on the side where it is as ineffective as pouring fresh water into the ocean. (what a comparison. wow.)
My friend suggested i listen to John Lennon. I did. I think it's not the best idea to open the floodgates of emotions, when the infant, that is, the non-emotion is still making it's way out of the damn dam. (like climbing out of the dam which was previously dry because the floodgates were holding the water away. What parent would let an infant into the dry dam at any point of time anyway? Well, it's just another bad comparison...so...)
After listening to four songs, namely, Working Class Hero, Imagine, God and How?, I had to, shall i say, shift to less triggering songs.
Unsuccessfully shifted to La Dispute. Surprisingly, could not feel the feels i usually feel.
The only album(apparently) that helps me cope (currently) is Sempiternal by Bring Me The Horizon. It has the right amount of energy to let my brain focus on the instruments, the splendid unclean vocals and the prestigious (wowza for choice of adjective) lyrics that hit me in the right way. It makes me want to start a one-woman mosh-pit and mosh till i cant feel my body, chipped my wall off and/or make a blogpost about it. I feel much better.
Sigh.(of relief)
"THIS IS SEMPITERNAL. WILL WE EVER SEE THE END?
THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL.
OVER AND OVER, AGAIN AND AGAIN"
But then there's me. A million things to do and not a single ounce of motivation is being felt in my body. This is of course an uncomfortable state of mind for me. I want to feel. So what do i do? I listen to emotional music. It works almost half of the times. But this time I'm on the side where it is as ineffective as pouring fresh water into the ocean. (what a comparison. wow.)
My friend suggested i listen to John Lennon. I did. I think it's not the best idea to open the floodgates of emotions, when the infant, that is, the non-emotion is still making it's way out of the damn dam. (like climbing out of the dam which was previously dry because the floodgates were holding the water away. What parent would let an infant into the dry dam at any point of time anyway? Well, it's just another bad comparison...so...)
After listening to four songs, namely, Working Class Hero, Imagine, God and How?, I had to, shall i say, shift to less triggering songs.
Unsuccessfully shifted to La Dispute. Surprisingly, could not feel the feels i usually feel.
The only album(apparently) that helps me cope (currently) is Sempiternal by Bring Me The Horizon. It has the right amount of energy to let my brain focus on the instruments, the splendid unclean vocals and the prestigious (wowza for choice of adjective) lyrics that hit me in the right way. It makes me want to start a one-woman mosh-pit and mosh till i cant feel my body, chipped my wall off and/or make a blogpost about it. I feel much better.
Sigh.(of relief)
"THIS IS SEMPITERNAL. WILL WE EVER SEE THE END?
THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL.
OVER AND OVER, AGAIN AND AGAIN"
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